If you are getting a divorce, you're going to need a lawyer because a legal process requires a legal professional. 

The attorney you choose will set the tone for your case and have a major impact on how your divorce case proceeds and settles.

For example, a litigation-oriented attorney may encourage you to proceed in an aggressive manner, be quick to file motions and be in favor of going to court.

An attorney who tends to work collaboratively may guide you toward a more team-oriented process where you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse attempt to work things out without going to court.

Personality fit is also key. A client who is frightened and needs some nurturing will not fit well with a hard-nosed litigator, nor will a hard-charging client be happy with a lawyer who takes a more laid-back approach.

Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid in Your Divorce

A poor fit between client and attorney can lead to frustration, higher than expected costs, and dysfunction between you and your attorney. This is one of the most important decisions you’ll make in your divorce.

In this month’s Graceful Exits, I’m walking you through how to find and hire the right attorney for you.

Start With Research

Because there are several ways to get divorced in Texas, it's important to have an idea of the process that will best fit your case before you hire an attorney.

How to Get Divorced in Texas

Why?

Because a litigator will not want to pursue a Collaborative Divorce, and an attorney who works mostly through mediation is unlikely to want to litigate.

Also consider if you want to work with a generalist - an attorney who practices in several areas of law - or a specialist who practices only family law.

Each area of law has its own norms and processes. It's wise to work with someone who specializes in the type of law where you need advocacy. You can also decide if you want to work with a lawyer who is Board Certified in Family Law.

Search For Candidates

Now that you know whom you are looking for, you need to find them.

Most people ask for referrals from those they trust. This might be a friend who has divorced, your therapist, your Financial Advisor, your CDFA, another trusted advisor, or even a group of peers on social media.

What is a CDFA?

Not everyone knows someone from whom they can get a referral. Fortunately, the internet has made finding and researching any type of professional relatively simple. Just pull up your favorite search engine and type in the keywords that best describe the attorney you want to hire. 

For example, if you are looking for a hard-nosed litigator in your area, you might search "divorce litigator near me." Or if you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse have agreed to try settling your case with minimal involvement of lawyers, you might search "uncontested divorce lawyer near me."

These days most firms maintain an online presence, so you can get a feel for how they work before you ever pick up the phone. Attorney review platforms like Avvo.com can help you figure out if your top-choice attorneys have been effective for other clients in the past.

Make a goal of having no fewer than three divorce attorneys on your interview list.

Interview the Candidates

Now you're ready to have that first consultation. Each practice and practitioner is different: some will charge a fee for your consultation, and others will give you the first hour for free.

To make the most of your consultation, you should come prepared with a list of questions to ask.

While the contents of your list will depend on what is most important to you, I recommend including these questions:

• How long have you been practicing Family Law?
• Are you a Family Law specialist?
• Do you work alone, or will others in your office be working on my case? Will you be handling my case personally?
• Do you use outside experts? If so, when? Do I get to decide if they will work on my case?
• What is your current caseload like? Heavy, moderate, light?
• Based on what I’ve told you about my case, have you handled many cases like mine before?
• Based on what I’ve told you about my case, what divorce process would you recommend? Uncontested, collaborative, mediated, litigated?
• How involved will I be in determining the strategy and tactics used in my case?
• What is your policy on returning calls and emails? What if I have an emergency?
• How often should I expect you to update me on the status of my case?
• What are your billing practices, and how much is your hourly fee? How much is your retainer for the type of case I have?
• What can I do as a client to keep the cost of my case as low as possible?
• Can you walk me through the divorce process? What happens first?

There are also a few questions you should avoid asking because there are no good answers to them. Those include:

• How long will my divorce take?
• How much will my divorce cost?
• Will I get spousal support?
• What amount of money will I get in the settlement?

Why Your Lawyer Can’t Answer Your Financial Questions

During your interviews, take notes. Keeping a few notes written down will help you keep everything straight in your head.

The Final Choice 

By now you've done some homework on your desired divorce method, researched a handful of divorce attorneys, and interviewed at least three of them. Now is the time to sit down, look at your notes, and decide. 

As you deliberate, consider not just the cost of each attorney but also how they made you feel.

When you were with them, did you feel comforted, taken seriously, heard, and understood? Can you see yourself sharing intimate details about your life and finances with this person?

Can you trust them to advocate for you? Does their practice style fit your needs?

Your attorney will set the tone for your whole case.

Choose wisely.

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